22/2/11 – Christchurch one year on

I remember where I was when I found out about the February 22 earthquake in Christchurch. I had headed off down to the gym in my lunchbreak and was on the treadmill. The TV’s flashed up images of buildings collapsing, people covered in dust and blood and my heart broke.

It’s very strange given that one of my clearest memories as a 5 year old (or all through primary school for that matter) was of the earthquake drills. We used to huddle under our desks, tucked up in little balls with our hands clasped behind our necks. Earthquake drills were commonplace, small earthquakes were regular, destruction on a scale that Christchurch experienced are not.

My nana passed down photos to us from the last major earthquake New Zealand experienced – Napier 1931, again also in February. Hundreds of people were killed and Napier is a shiny Art Deco memorial to remind everyone that it can be rebuilt. Nana lived in Gisborne a couple of hundred kilometres north of Napier. Still there was devastation even that far away. Buildings were flattened, cars wrecked. As much as you knew that earthquakes happened all the time, you never thought that the “big one” would happen again.

The February 22 earthquake was something that we as kiwis have always been taught to expect, but never want to see.

So it was was with a sense of disbelief and horror that I watched the situation unfold in Christchurch. I couldn’t comprehend that it had actually happened, and happened somewhere that had already been struck by 2 sizeable earthquakes in the preceding 6 months. And for Canatabrians, the fact that this is now their reality, that they have experienced over 10,000 aftershocks, and that their lives have been so adversely affected by this one day is both their greatest achievement and greatest sorrow.

I really hope that Christchurch can rebuild. Given the fact the area is still so unstable, it may take decades. But I honestly believe that Christchurch will become an iconic symbol for the whole of NZ in the years to come.

It has been interesting over the last week to read all stories from people directly affected by the earthquake, how they cope now, how they are trying to get up everyday and move on.

To read some of these stories visit stuff.co.nz

Much love goes out to all you Cantabrians. Stay strong.

Black Eyeliner, False Eyelashes and Hair Extensions will be your friend

So while I sit here waiting (impatiently) for the ok to go to Toronto, I have plenty of time to ponder things. During my one and a half hour commute to work, I got thinking about now that I am only four weeks away from turning 33 (GAH!) what I would tell my naive, innocent 17 year old self.

1996 – 7th form and last year at Wanganui Girls College

Dear 17 year old Ange….

You will get over being called Ange but NEVER get over being called Angie. On that note, make SURE you correct people when they call you Angie by accident, if you don’t correct them within the first two instances of being called Angie you will not be able to stop it.

Do not listen to your mother when she tells you dying your hair black will be a bad idea….it’s a freaking great idea and you will wish you did it sooner.

Use your savings and buy a SLR camera, shoot film, shoot Black and White film. Do not waste your whole roll of film taking photos of the cats. But shoot lots of film, and get into a darkroom. You will wish that you had this sort of opportunity in 15 years!

You should never have done Calculus and Physics….drop them now and do History and Photography instead. You will most likely be a much happier person having some form of creative outlet.

Start running now…it will hurt like hell and you will hate it but it does you good. And it wouldn’t hurt to improve your fitness. Right now you are obsessed with how fat you are. You are not fat, you don’t get fat until you are 25. Then when you are 31 you look back at your 21 year old body and wish you still had it and appreciate it more. Realise that you will never love your body, but that very few people do. It is normal.

Dance more!

Stop trying to be everyone’s friend and worrying about pissing people off. This is life, you can’t like everyone, everyone can’t like you, get over it! The real friends you have, you will have for life and they are the sort of relationships that will be the most fulfilling. Your best friends will be the people you might not talk to for months, but when you do talk it’s like you have never been apart.

Tequila is not your friend. You will always have a rocky relationship.

Do not wait until you are 31 to find the joys of false eyelashes and hair extensions. Also you should start practising with the black eyeliner. It takes freaking years to get it right and you still can’t do it properly! Forget the purple, green and blue of your early 20′s, go with the black!

Understand that you will be entering some extremely hard times over the next few years, but that these will define you and make you the person I am today. It’s ok and you will get through it. And in the end you will meet the person who is your greatest strength and will help you to take that last step to be free. You will be happy.

xxx

A difficult Transition

Photography by Angela McConnell

In my last post (quite some time ago now), I mentioned that my husband and I were on the brink of a move overseas. In late October we got the news that he had been offered a job in Toronto, Canada.

We were expecting to arrive in Canada just before Christmas, but unfortunately this has not happened. We have encountered some large hurdles on our journey from Melbourne to Canada, and find ourselves relying on the hospitality of friends.

Personally, I have found the whole process really really difficult. For a person that relies on structure and control (particularly the control part), this has been a huge test which I can’t say I have passed. As we now enter our 17th week of waiting to hear whether we can enter Canada, I feel on the brink of emotional collapse and complete withdrawal from anything that requires communicating with people other than my husband and housemates.

As it stands at the moment, we have with us in Melbourne 4 suitcases of clothes, my cameras and just us. Our cats (who are our fur children), have been in Vancouver since the beginning of December and our entire household contents arrived in Toronto today. It’s a very strange circumstance to be completely removed from your life and everything you hold dear and familiar.
As of this morning we still do not have any firm information other than our case has been assigned, but the end is not quite in sight…

It kills me to sit here waiting, wasting time and not being able to shoot when my head is full of ideas. But maybe this forced hiatus will actually help me in long run, to help me focus my goals, concepts and start fresh.

I have been lucky that there have been some very supportive friends here for me, who have understood my need to have a massive bitch session about how crap I feel, and allow me to feel sad about it.
You all know who you are and I thank you for you infinite patience with me xxx

It will pass and I WILL feel excited by this move, but it’s just not right now.